Friday, April 13, 2007
My reasons, maybe qualifications
Like the Movie "Fly away Home", 1996, I wasn't imprinted, - a step further, I managed to make it thru life, with almost no Parental Influence. I do have the 'wisdom' to know that I am limited in explaining the 'results' and the 'whyfores', - in another words I am smart enough to know that this is a very complicated concept, and probably never to be understood real thoroughly (a lot more questions than answers) but, I think this makes me a really interesting person. So, hopefully, I can write from a perspective, that is unusually unique. Relationships have been a challenge for me, I have made a lot of progress - in my twenties, I studied movies, more than just watching for entertainment, (movies were good examples of relationships,) my reactions when my relationships were in trouble, were more primitive and instinctful, it was a big learning experience when I realized that "I had Choices", if I took what discretionary time (an epiphany, - that I had time to think) there was, and thought about a few simple concepts, i.e. 'What do I really want"? What about the long range effects of my decision, What are the "Choices"?
This same "Primitiveness", I have seen in my grandson, Cameron, as he came out of two and a half years of "Isolation of peer socialization", due to his compromised immune system, from the Chemotherapy of Leukemia. We would be at his swim meet, for instance, and I would lose his concentration, because he would intently be observing a disagreement between some swim mates, studying the 'relationship' and its process. Also, Joan Didion, her insight into recognizing the role of "Magical Thinking" and working through this, especially how, Joan Didion, needed 'writing things down' to gain perspective, and the logic that went contrary to "Magical Thinking", and eventually acknowledging the 'worth' of "Magical Thinking". Venessa Redgraves interviews, usually with J. Didion, expanding on experiences, and adding "there is even a little bit of humor in the Play". I feel I connect more with J. Didions writings, than most people would.
My dilemma of: "Significant" or a "Coalition of Friends"
My advantage of "Trusted Therapist", psychologist, someone to test my reasoning, a valued "second opinion", my need to be understood
All 'those' phrases: 'Separation Anxiety' - - 'Costs vs Benefits' - - Projection - - Unconditional Love - - just a Cost of Doing Business - - Core Feelings - - Unacknowledged Feelings -- "Emotional I.Q. of a five year old" - - "Chemistry", "Electricity", "Serendipity", Soul mate "Makes my Heart Sing", "Eye Baisous", "Help me Understand...",
My own traits: I see myself as a "Romantic", "Positive", "Silly", "Work in Progress", "Adventuresome", usually "Shy", needs both 'alone' and together' time, don't do well with 'quiet time' - need 'activity',
This same "Primitiveness", I have seen in my grandson, Cameron, as he came out of two and a half years of "Isolation of peer socialization", due to his compromised immune system, from the Chemotherapy of Leukemia. We would be at his swim meet, for instance, and I would lose his concentration, because he would intently be observing a disagreement between some swim mates, studying the 'relationship' and its process. Also, Joan Didion, her insight into recognizing the role of "Magical Thinking" and working through this, especially how, Joan Didion, needed 'writing things down' to gain perspective, and the logic that went contrary to "Magical Thinking", and eventually acknowledging the 'worth' of "Magical Thinking". Venessa Redgraves interviews, usually with J. Didion, expanding on experiences, and adding "there is even a little bit of humor in the Play". I feel I connect more with J. Didions writings, than most people would.
My dilemma of: "Significant" or a "Coalition of Friends"
My advantage of "Trusted Therapist", psychologist, someone to test my reasoning, a valued "second opinion", my need to be understood
All 'those' phrases: 'Separation Anxiety' - - 'Costs vs Benefits' - - Projection - - Unconditional Love - - just a Cost of Doing Business - - Core Feelings - - Unacknowledged Feelings -- "Emotional I.Q. of a five year old" - - "Chemistry", "Electricity", "Serendipity", Soul mate "Makes my Heart Sing", "Eye Baisous", "Help me Understand...",
My own traits: I see myself as a "Romantic", "Positive", "Silly", "Work in Progress", "Adventuresome", usually "Shy", needs both 'alone' and together' time, don't do well with 'quiet time' - need 'activity',
Monday, April 9, 2007
This is a difficult one to get the 'size' right -"Mothering", some of this is nurturing and "a good thing", too much, or, controlling - "a bad thing", maybe this is truly an "Art" (know how much, a light touch, especially good if it is genuinely 'Caring')
Accepting the thought and gifts, Both sides like to be appreciated.
Another difficult one to define: "Surprises" Most of us really like 'nice, caring' Surprises, not "Quid pro quo", in contrast, a Surprise that helps to "Siezes the Day" (Carpe Diem) It needs to make a 'statement' (measures your 'effort' - your 'caring')
"Loving" is Thoughtful, Caring, Understanding, Patience, Compromising, and, Honest.
Accepting the thought and gifts, Both sides like to be appreciated.
Another difficult one to define: "Surprises" Most of us really like 'nice, caring' Surprises, not "Quid pro quo", in contrast, a Surprise that helps to "Siezes the Day" (Carpe Diem) It needs to make a 'statement' (measures your 'effort' - your 'caring')
"Loving" is Thoughtful, Caring, Understanding, Patience, Compromising, and, Honest.
The simplest traits:
A "Self-honest" way of comparing oneself.
Able to be 'Excited' and 'Adventureous' about their own and 'the-other's' interests/passions.
A little amount of cautiousness (for sanity or survival), but, a bigger amount of spontaniety and courage.
"Un-conditional Love" is usually an unattainable goal, except, with small children., But , a goal, to think about. A good direction to strive for.
Being "understood" Can be, surprisingly, a "Big-deal" (providing there is some depth and significance to the persons feelings and passions).
Lying and Bluffing does entertain some people, but, for most, credibility and integrity are an 'Expected fundamental' - - Exageration and Wit excepted. One's eyes will usually reveal the shortcomings in "Integrity and Crediability" if they are happening
Able to be 'Excited' and 'Adventureous' about their own and 'the-other's' interests/passions.
A little amount of cautiousness (for sanity or survival), but, a bigger amount of spontaniety and courage.
"Un-conditional Love" is usually an unattainable goal, except, with small children., But , a goal, to think about. A good direction to strive for.
Being "understood" Can be, surprisingly, a "Big-deal" (providing there is some depth and significance to the persons feelings and passions).
Lying and Bluffing does entertain some people, but, for most, credibility and integrity are an 'Expected fundamental' - - Exageration and Wit excepted. One's eyes will usually reveal the shortcomings in "Integrity and Crediability" if they are happening
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